Dilemmas of trust by Trudy Govier

By Trudy Govier

"In Dilemmas of belief Trudy Govier explores the profound impression belief and mistrust have, not just on relationships, but in addition on our feel of self. by way of encouraging mirrored image on our personal attitudes of belief and mistrust, she issues how you can a deeper realizing of our relations and ourselves."--Jacket.

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We trust her, feel confident that she likes us, and interpret the comment as non-insulting. Trusting our friends means that we can feel relaxed with them. We are at ease. 11 In the context of friendship, trust means that we expect affection, loyalty, and dependability; we feel confident and relaxed; we interpret what the friend says and does in a positive way; we can accept our own vulnerability. Trust in this sense is absolutely necessary for friendship. If we distrust another person, we are anxious and doubtful about her responses to us; we worry about how she will act; we feel uncertain about what she means and suspicious when minor things go wrong.

19 Women friends like to be together and talk, and when they talk, common subjects are children, feelings, other people, and relationships. Men, on the other hand, seem to value independence and status more than relationships as such. Many friendships between men are based on shared activities and have a strong "pal" component. Men generally like to joke, exchange anecdotes, have fun, and enjoy sports and other activities. When they talk, they are more likely to share information or discuss women, politics, or sports than to explore feelings, character, or relationships.

For all his emphasis on virtue, Aristotle also granted that pleasure was a feature of friendships. In fact, he judged friendships based on pleasure to be more authentic than those based purely on the usefulness of the friend. Where there is pleasure, there is some valuing of the relationship for its own sake and not merely as a means to some further purpose. A friend of utility is one with whom we have friendly relations because she is useful to us - a woman we play tennis with because we both need exercise or another whose wellbehaved children make convenient playmates for our own.

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